Enjoy this up close look into one of Lynette’s corporate speaking events where she addresses a group of 50 women on topics from her book, including how to keep moving when you don’t know how, dreaming outside the job description, celebrating every season of your career, and how to let your voice be heard. The Q&A section at the end gives insights into balancing life and work, dealing with naysayers, and how to become more strategic about where you want to go next at work and in life.
This time of year Ron and I get flooded with requests for help in finding a job. New grads are hitting the “real-life” job market while others are in some sort of job transition.
I responded to one inquiry recently, with what I called a “mentoring moment,” designed to help her be more successful in looking for work. I believe these tips are crucial when asking people for ideas, connections, and assistance in any job search. What follows is my email in response to her inquiry, with suggestions that can help anyone looking for a job.
Dear Shari (name is changed)
Wow, it’s hard to believe you are graduating already, seems like just yesterday you were starting college. We are so proud of you and the ways you have grown. Glad you wrote and happy to offer some thoughts as you search for “marketplace work.”
“Marketplace” is an extremely broad and somewhat vague category. We need to know your specific interests within that category:
Have you read my book? It would be perfect timing now if not. Dive into the exercises, write a purpose statement for your life, get specific about people you need to help you in the next stage of your life and journey. Consider going through my podcast series too, “Lunch with Lynette” and find those ideas that are especially useful at this juncture. My resources are simply one of many. Learn everything, be hungry for mentoring and find tools that can help you get more DEFINITION and SPECIFICITY around your interests and goals.
Ron and I are both well-connected to many people, companies, etc., but it’s difficult to help when someone comes with vague needs. People who are well-connected and knowledgeable will not typically respond to that type of inquiry (people wonder why they don’t get a response, it’s often because they weren’t specific.) If you can learn to be very specific such as, “I’m interested in XYZ company because I saw they have an opening for XYZ position, do you know of anyone at that company or can you help me tailor my resume for that position?” anyone with expertise or connections will be glad to assist you.
Newspapers have classified ads, temp agencies have jobs and in many cases these temp assignments turn into permanent jobs (this is how I got my first job out of college as well as many summer jobs.) Find out which temp agencies are in your area, go in and apply.
You are gifted, qualified, talented, with a wonderful heart and personality. You can find a great job that God has already gone before you to prepare. It’s going to take work, research, preparation. No one will hand you an easy path (I know you know this, I’m stating the obvious), but by following these suggestions you can find your first job and enjoy it, knowing you did your work and got the prize!
Hope this is helpful, bless you and we are praying over all of this with you….
Lynette
I spoke to a group of college students recently, on how to stand out from their peers and SHINE. Rather than “Success Factors” I call them, ”Shine Factors.” They’re tips we know intuitively but often need repeated…
Shine Factor #1 – Know Your Purpose
I’ve worked with 65 yr old men about to retire who have lots of money and still don’t know their purpose. They’ve never answered, “Why am I here? You can and must know your purpose. It’s what can lead you to deep and lasting satisfaction. Know your personal purpose and you will shine. (In chapter one of my book I have exercises for writing a personal purpose statement.)
Shine Factor #2 – Be Excellent
In everything you do, be excellent, even in the smallest of things. Read and be informed, give more than expected, be proactive (don’t wait for permission), be grateful and express it. For example, if your boss asks you to get their car out of the parking garage, have their fave drink in the cup holder when they climb in. Little things. Big difference. Most people barely get by, especially when they’re not in their dream job. Do that and be typical. Be excellent and you’ll shine.
Shine Factor #3 — Innovate
Innovation = Influence. Starbucks innovated a new coffee culture and now they influence the world. When I was so overcome with the issue of child sexual slavery in America, I had to do something. So we moved forward, not knowing what or how to change things, and discovered a whole new approach to shutting down the industry. Disruptive innovation will make you shine.
Shine Factor #4 – Dream
Dreams are the energy of happiness. Dream big. Dream out loud. Dream on all cylinders. Do your dreams. Dream outside the job description. Do my 1-1-1 Strategy (one dream, one step, once a week) and you’ll take 52 steps each year toward one dream.
Shine Factor #5 – Persevere
In an instantaneous Google culture, stay the course, put in your time, press thru, cultivate patience, don’t be stopped at the “no.” So much growth occurs in repetition, practicing lessons over and over. Young people want results. Results take time. Put in the time and you will shine, maybe not right away, but eventually.
The world is desperate for shining examples of shining qualities. You can shine!
(My husband, Ron Lewis, is a pastor, and yesterday he shared his pulpit with me as part of a February series called, iRelate. My topic was Relational Intelligence and here are the primary points I shared with our congregation)
Relational Intelligence — What it is, tools we can use, and how to overcome what holds us backFirst, the Vision — Imagine a world where people have great skills in making relationships thrive. Thriving is different than surviving of course, and yet few of us seem to know what it takes.
Intelligence Defined – the ability to learn, understand, or deal with new or challenging situations. (Who doesn’t need this when it comes to relationships?)
But perhaps the problem isn’t that we lack intelligence. When hand-held devices put virtually all information we need at our fingertips, is the problem really a lack of know-how when it comes to relationships? My premise is NO. Rather, it’s that we don’t APPLY what we know and are left relationally suffering.
King Solomon, known as the wisest man of his time, is a perfect example of this. He possessed much wisdom, but didn’t apply it to his wives. With 700 wives and 300 concubines, He clung to them in love and his wives led him astray. Lots of wisdom, no application of exact instructions God gave about making his relationships thrive.
So what are the TOOLS we need and how do we APPLY them?
Tool #1 — My favorite tool for relational intelligence is the Bible. Filled with relatable stories of broken people and destitute situations, we find truths on how to love our wives, husbands, friends, and co-workers in practical ways that bring life-giving results.
Tool #2 — Mentors – At a time early in my career when I lacked mentors at work, a group of five girlfriends and I started meeting for breakfast, mentoring one another on becoming great managers. We were all young and inexperienced but grew immensely through helping each other. Mentoring comes through books, articles, speakers, and friends. Mentors are an essential tool in becoming relationally intelligent.
Why Don’t We Apply What We Know? Three reasons seem to be common to all of us.
Reason #1 — Lazyness. It’s easier to pull away, not confront, and avoid the tough work of relationships. Just like it’s easier to sit home with a Cinnabon and cup of coffee than go out in the freezing cold for my 3-times weekly jogs. I rarely FEEL like running, but after 25 years I’m committed no matter what. For me, physical discipline drives out lazyness in so many areas, including being lazy with my relationships. Running may not be your thing, but do whatever it takes to overcome lazyness.
Reason #2 – We Get Offended. Relationships are tough work and misunderstanding is inevitable. Whenever an offense occurs we are tempted to shy away, harbor the hurt, and react in catastrophic ways.
Over the years I have practiced not getting offended and have determined, no matter what, no one will offend me. What they say may be offensive, but I choose not to be offended. I look at their heart motives and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Proverbs 19:11 says it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Relational Intelligence means I am committed to an environment of love and acceptance, overlooking offenses every time.
Reason #3 — We Feel Unqualified. If we don’t believe we can really be great at relationships, we’ll stop shy of excellence. Maybe we have failed in the past, can’t seem to break through with a certain individual, or are simply not confident when it comes to relating well. Here’s the good news, you and I have what it takes to be great at relationships.
One of my all-time favorite articles, one I go back to over and over, was published in FORTUNE magazine several years ago called, \”What It Takes to Be Great\”
There are so many rich nuggets and here are a few of my favorites….
The article points out Tiger Woods as a textbook example. Because his father started his golf practices when he was 18 months old, by the time he was 18 yrs old he’d already racked up 15 years of practice making him superior to all his peers. Tiger even remade his swing because that’s what it took to qualify for greatness in golf.
If I was Tiger’s counselor, I’d help him see that the same focus and perseverance that made him a world-class golfer can make him great at relationships. If he’ll APPLY them, he can become Relationally Intelligent.
For years I read books about relationships, went to counseling, dealt w/ my issues, became relationally intelligent, long before I got married. I’m certainly not the BEST at all things relational, but I’m determined to be as great as possible.
Relational Intelligence is a worthy goal, and with the right tools and commitment, you and I can reach levels of success we never thought possible.
