There are 100 million singles (over 18) in the U.S. alone, yet many feel like one of only a handful missing out on Valentines Day.

That’s why I’m so excited to announce the launch of my newest book, Remember the Roses — How to Hold Out, Hang On, and Marry the Man of Your Dreams

I wrote this book for anyone waiting for true love and those needing fresh encouragement plus a few practical tools for navigating the journey toward lasting love. The title comes from a vision I had of a Road lined with Roses, and the book is written in three distinct sections.

The first section is a quick and easy read about my own ups, downs, heartbreaks and headaches on a long road to a happy ending that included one worth-the-wait husband and four awesome sons.

The second section is called, “Gifts and Lessons from the Journey,” highlighting many treasures not fully visible until later. Chapters like, “Dreaming Big for Your Life” and “Celebrating Now” showcase the many surprise gifts to be enjoyed while love tarries.

The final section includes excerpts from my journals, dealing with common emotions often present in the wait yet seldom discussed publicly, things like, “I Feel Powerless,” and “I’m Stifled and Squelched,” among others. For each journal entry there are scriptures — the Truth that sets us free to be honest with our emotions yet move through them to a place of confidence and strength.

Over the next several weeks I’ll be blogging excerpts from the book along with video blogs that feature a special “Rose of the Week” and its meaning.

I would love to hear from YOU as we build a company of committed visionaries worldwide, those choosing to Remember the Roses on the sometimes rocky pathway to love and living our dreams.

It struck me today, on the start of a brand new year, that in life we also have piles of gifts (abilities, qualities, and talents.)  But it’s not enough to have them.  WE HAVE TO OPEN THEM.

For some odd reason I often hold gifts back…

• I seldom use our sterling silverware.  Never mind the awe of even possessing such a treasure (a wedding gift from Ron’s Mom.)  Better keep it in the chest so it won’t tarnish.
• Our best china (the pattern I spent hours choosing because I liked it so much) remains hidden in the cabinet adding zero elegance to our meals.  Love it and hide it?  What a novel idea.
• Clothes & shoes “so gorgeous I have to have them” somewhere in the closet, waiting for who knows when?

Since when does using something now in the moment mean coming up short later?  Where does this scarcity mentality come from?

Worse yet, what about the gifts inside ourselves that matter a whole lot more than possessions, like our personalities and passion, true selves that are meant to be given that the world around us might benefit and grow?

What gifts are you saving for later, keeping them under wraps?

In 2012, I’m pulling out the silver,  using the china, and wearing the dress.

A new year of possibilities is calling out for you too, calling our names, calling for every gift inside to open, blossom, and soar!

2012 here we come…

Darcy is just one of those women who adds beauty to everything she touches.  Her home and the table were exquisitely decorated for the holidays.  The details on the table were like little special presents, and the food, oh my, our palates came alive and our stomachs overflowed.  Steve kept the fireplace burning, and the rich sharing made our cups spill over (along with the cappuccinos!)

Being around Darcy and Steve reminded me of how beautiful it is when we let our gifts flow and don’t hold back.  So often we’re tempted to conserve, be careful, and not overwhelm others with the gusto we have inside.  Instead of being true to ourselves we allocate our gifts based on what we think others want, instead of what we long to give.

For many years I felt like a pot of boiling water on a stove with the lid on top.  I so wanted to pour forth love as a wife and mother, longed to entertain in a home of my own, felt compelled to write and speak, though no doors were opening.  Many days I felt frustrated and stifled.  Then I came to realize (out of boiling desperation!) that I was the one stifling myself, the one keeping the lid on through my own assumptions of what I could or could not be, do, and give.

So I started flowing. Hosting brunches and baby showers for friends, sleepovers with my friends’ kids, speaking to groups of 4 or 5 in my little apartment.  Wherever and however, I simply let it flow.

I no longer felt stifled, in fact it brought me alive, and out of the “aliveness” new doors started opening.  Energy was flowing, fulfillment was growing, time was passing, and before long, the very things I desired came to pass but before they did, I was ALIVE, full and fulfilled, flowing.

So at this time of year when gifts do flow between friends, family, and co-workers, why not make it a point to start opening up your own floodgates, letting go of whatever holds you back and lavishly giving what you have to give — the flow that is authentically, beautifully you!

Flowing like this doesn’t take as much time, talent, or permission as you think, and someone out there needs exactly what you long to give.  So just like the popular Christmas song, “Let It Snow,” let’s change it up this year and altogether now sing,  “Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!”

Ever find something you REALLY want but it’s already marked “Sold” or “No longer available”?

I’ve confronted such road blocks many times…

• “No Lynette, you didn’t get the job” (when I was clearly the most qualified and believed it was a God-idea.)
• “All the good men are married or have issues,” (circumstances told me this for years while single)
• “Sorry, we don’t carry that style anymore, there are none left in the entire company,” (see photo/story below)
• “You can’t do that here Lynette, we need you on other priorities,” (while professionally trying to expand my role)
• “SOLD” (on a perfect item for my master bath redo, see below)

Over and over we run up against signs and signals that indicate a dead-end.  The first gut-reaction is to obey and stop.  But like a dead-end sign on a road while driving, we can’t end up stranded in the car. Instead, we have to back up, make a turn, and somehow find a way through.

This morning a beautiful custom iPad cover arrived in the mail from Tusk leather goods in NYC.  It represents a recent example of perseverance.  I discovered this beautiful cover after hours of online hunting and stopping by various stores.  I was in search of a colorful-yet-classy portfolio that would fit my personal brand and work for speaking venues.  Bloomingdales had only one left and it was perfect, except for a big black stain inside and a grease blotch on the front.  No more in any other Bloomingdales stores, so I called Tusk directly and ended up talking to the owner.  “Your covers are the nicest I’ve seen anywhere, I’d LOVE to have this color/style and can you please find just one more somewhere in your company?” “Sorry,” the very nice owner, Hiten Manseta, told me. “We made this style exclusively for Bloomingdales and have no more in stock anywhere, we don’t even have this leather on hand anymore.”  “Oh Hiten,” I professionally prodded, “can you PLEASE see what you can possibly do?”  He didn’t sound hopeful, but sure enough, a few days later I got an email… “Lynette, I found the purple leather and we will make this special cover for you in our factory overseas.”  Yippee, so glad I persevered!

A few months ago, while shopping in Tulsa, I saw the most stunning, unusually large antique venetian mirror, marked for a ridiculously low price.  Sadly, there was a big SOLD sign on front.  No surprise, at this price who wouldn’t snatch it up?!  I was bummed as it would have been PERFECT for my upcoming master bath redo.  I kept walking by it, so jealous of whomever had better timing than I did.  “Are you sure this is sold?” I asked the guy at the counter.  “Oh yes, I’m certain the person has already paid for it and will pick it up soon,” he told me.  But something inside wouldn’t let go, envisioning it on my wall where it rightfully belonged!   “You’re SURE they paid for it?” I asked again, feeling by now like a stalker.  “Let me check,” he said, walking to the back room.  Not a minute later he emerged, “Good news, turns out it won’t work for the buyer’s house after all, it’s yours if you want it.”  “YES I DO,” I virtually shouted.  My Mom, who was with me for this adventure, said it best as we walked joyfully to our car, “There’s a message in this one Lynette.”  So very true.

Now granted, an iPad cover and mirror are temporal items I could certainly live without.  But what about those things that are crucial, if not essential, to our future and dreams?  Over 25 years of professional and personal pursuits, time and again all signs have pointed to NO when YES was the true destination, just around the corner via uncharted paths.

What dead-end signs have you confronted lately?  Are you really supposed to stop?  Is there another win-win way around the road-block?  Maybe one more phone call, an offer to serve in order to receive?  Granted, we do at times need stop signs to get us we’re supposed to be, but more often than not we’re better served to persevere, not take no for an answer, and find creative ways around and through to our dreams.

I’m closing this post with a link to one of the best stories I’ve read on Steve Jobs and his perseverance.  I’m a big Apple/Mac fan and am grateful for the lessons we can learn from this man’s life.

So whether it’s in small things or big things, stretch your “YES-I-CAN” muscle and decide not to quit, just like Steve.  The Perseverance of Steve Jobs

One such “crummy” moment happened recently.  I was visiting family and had an afternoon to watch my 9 yr old niece and her cheerleading squad perform at a pep rally.  Later that evening I wrote an email to my husband describing how I felt….

“I was in the gym this afternoon with all the kids, tons of moms and dads, the football team, Ally and her cheerleader friends, so sweet and glad I got to go.  Funny though, I thought while I looked at everyone, ‘I’ve missed this whole experience of being a mom with young kids in school.’  It’s still so strange to me, I look at all these women and think, ‘That was going to be me, being at school, pouring into my kids’ young lives.’  I know that I know, for some reason, I’m called to a different path, one I do love, but at moments like this it’s still hard to grasp why and how it turned out like this.”

Perhaps you can relate to my “missing out” sentiments.  It struck me later that night and again this morning while on a run, how tempting it is for EVERYONE to feel at some level like we’re missing out.

Missing out on….

• A job breakthrough
• A relationship you’ve always dreamed of
• Real, true friends
• A promised promotion
• Financial relief
• Health
• Freedom from depression and addictions
• The list goes on….

I finished my email to Ron with a line that is truly my heart’s mantra and one I will always hold to:  “I’m rich beyond words and have no regrets.”

Over and over we’re challenged to choose the “glass is half-full” mentality vs. concentrating on the empty place.  Yes, there are mysteries, things seemingly withheld, fulfillment we rightfully deserve or would imagine a loving God is eager to grant us.  So what gives when I feel denied?

One of my favorite scripture verses is Isaiah 55:9, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  I have come to realize with increasing assurance my Father is all-wise, full of love, withholding some things only to grant others, in His way and in His time.

Could it be our challenge is to live not by what is visible now, and then choose, over and over again, to be content and grateful, celebrating what we have?

I’ve been focused on Psalm 23 lately while we walk through the valley with our son Jordan who is fighting cancer.  I’m often reciting under my breath, “Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me…”  I’ve also been loving verse 5 that says, “….you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.”  What a gift — an overflowing cup.  Not just half-full, but running over.

So even with unanswered questions, I’m going to declare that my cup WILL run over, realizing that perhaps part of the gift and adventure for all of us is, we just don’t know quite yet, what He will fill it with.

During those disappointments and frustrations, the ability to see beyond the obvious to something not yet realized, was being cultivated in my life.

• Denied promotions brought the urgency to pursue outside interests yielding relationships still treasured today
• “Forced-on-me duties started out as “most hated” and turned into “most loved” (like writing the alumni magazine which built skills I’d need later as an author.)
• Frustrating years of singleness included the freedom to DO more, FOR more, WITH more — far more than one single gal could have ever imagined she’d love so much

So many necessary talents, perspectives, nuggets of wisdom and credibility, come via unexpected means.  By persevering through every surprise turn we earn the “mental muscle reflex” that consistently EXPECTS something wonderful when disappointments happen.

Which leads me to the Missoni baby blanket……two weeks ago when Missoni for Target hit stores, I was traveling and unable to get into a store myself (though my wonderful assistant Whitney snagged a few requested items.)  I’m a long-time Missoni-fan, so a few days later, stores completely picked over, I spotted the beautiful blanket and knew instinctively I could use it for an original creation.  Maybe a pillow?  What about a shawl?  A dress became the final choice and I couldn’t be happier having this one-of-a-kind creation all my own.

The lesson?  Often our most creative moments come out of forced necessity.

What is frustrating you lately?  Keep flexing your “dreaming beyond the obvious” muscle and pray for creative insights to turn bummers into breakthroughs.  I promise you, hidden gifts (fashion or otherwise) await!

After plowing through getting a literary agent, doing a book proposal, then pitching the concept to publishers, I was shocked when after only 3 weeks a publisher said YES!

Debbie Wickwire, the acquisitions editor at Thomas Nelson Publishers, told me after the contract was signed that for over two years they had been looking for a corporate woman with a Christian voice who could write a book for working women in the general market (vs. Christian market.)  “You were exactly what we had been praying for Lynette, and when we saw your proposal we knew it was a fit!”

This experience taught me a truth that is a crucial motivator when pursuing a dream:

Your dream is the answer to someone’s prayer.

We so often forget this, make light of our dreams, feel unqualified and unworthy of going for all we dream.

I had no idea that my dream of writing a book to encourage women fit perfectly with what the editors at Thomas Nelson had been hoping to find.  In fact, most days I believed the opposite.

Your dream is no different.  Someone out there NEEDS your dream, the dream you have in mind and the dream that will emerge as you go after it.

Maybe you feel unqualified, don’t know how to get started, keep hoping for some magic moment when all the right elements come together and poof, your dream just happens.  I know from experience it simply won’t happen that way, and every day you wait to get started is one more day denying someone else the answers they need.

Imagine if every person alive, including you, starts going for their dreams, all of them, one by one in all facets of their lives so that in turn, others can be the recipients of the outcomes of those dreams.

My simple advice is this….start articulating what you desire and hope can become a reality.  Lay aside your fears, quit waiting to feel qualified.  Do my 1-1-1 Strategy of taking one step once a week toward one dream.  Dreams in motion attract provision and if you will commit to at least getting started you will be amazed at doors that open and people you’ll meet.

Who needs your dream to become their dream fulfilled?

I’d love to hear about it and what you’re doing to make it happen.  Send me a Twitter message at Lynette_Lewis or via Facebook.

As always, I’m cheering you on….