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For many years as a single I thought, “I need to be more athletic; I should wear less make-up since men like the natural look; Maybe I’m too girly; I should hold back and not be so bold since it may intimidate guys,” the list goes on…

The underlying pressure was, “Be what every man wants so you’ll finally attract THE ONE.”

So who the heck knows what THE ONE will want anyway, and what he wants now may not be what attracts him later when we meet.

The point here is we can only be our total selves, our evolving selves, the woman we are crafted to be and the best version of our God-given purpose and design.

The man you marry will ideally “expect nothing and appreciate everything.”  I put this phrase in quotes because my husband Ron is the first one I heard coin this phrase.  He uses it frequently in a variety of situations and it expresses his humility and recognition that expectations placed in God vs. people, assures we aren’t disappointed.

This quality in him means he doesn’t criticize how I look, what I wear, whether or not I can snow ski (I can’t!), what I make him for dinner, and how I do or don’t do a hundred other things.

As a “type A” person who drives myself to achievement anyway, being with a man who celebrates more than criticizes is a true gift, one I hope every woman can have.  My Dad is the same way, so is my brother-in-law, and I see how much this character quality brings peace to a woman’s heart.

We as women tend to be very hard on ourselves anyway, with nagging voices in our heads that cause us to feel guilty and under pressure to be more and do more.  Having a man who doesn’t add to this pressure is a true gift.

So for all my waiting girlfriends, watch for this quality in a man, it indicates security and wholeness on his part, and will end up being a real gift to you.

 

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