I was struck by the memories of days when my arms were empty and my heart felt sick. Times when the showers were for everyone else, and staying at home seemed a more viable option than going and dealing with anguish and pain.
But go I did, to dozens and dozens of showers, many hosted myself, and entering into countless conversations where talk of pregnancy and children meant I had little to add.
Now our house is overflowing with gifts galore, packages and bows and so much pink that Ron was extra excited when the camouflage onesie emerged!
What you sow, that will you reap. It’s true for everyone. Not just some who appear to have it all, but all who appear and show up and invest when they’re running on empty. In those empty moments we pull from a Source bigger than ourselves. We pour out of His supply. Step into grace and the recognition that even when we simply move toward investing He moves lots of provision to us, so we won’t run dry.
One Sunday memory sticks in my mind just a couple of years ago. It was Mother’s Day, and baby dedication. The stage was lined with couples and grandparents with arms full of babies. As the Pastor’s wife it was appropriate for me to accompany Ron on stage as we went down the line praying for everyone.
I hardly had energy to get out of my chair. Truly happy for everyone, yet longing for a baby of my own, my body moved but my heart stood still.
I felt like a fake with only crumbs to offer, smidgens of nothing worth much, maybe a forced smile or a hand on the shoulder.
Something happens though, in those moments, like a new tributary of water that opens up, multiplying the outflow. Flow that is less about us and more about them, Him, the giving away becomes the act of courage and the badge of grace. Grace that is sufficient, making us graceFULL, full enough to feed others.
As I looked at our gorgeous shower cakes this weekend (red velvet and Martha Bollinger’s famous almond white), I was reminded that any little crumb in His Hands, offered in faith, or sometimes not in faith but in fortitude, is like a widow’s mite that brings might. Mighty not of ourselves. Might that may feel like madness but turns into gladness in its time.
Time to celebrate now. Time to lift glasses, hold up babies, wipe away the cake crumbs and count the gifts. Gifts galore, born out of nothing but crumbs of faith. Crumbs that count in Almighty Hands. Counting on His faithfulness and never our own. Owning only to have more to give. Give away hope. Hope for all who call on His ample supply.
You WILL be supplied for whatever you need today, yes you will.