Have you ever felt you belonged somewhere so you pushed your way in? I sure have, with men dated, positions wanted, and platforms that just seemed right for my voice.
Bad idea all around; not doing it anymore!
I do believe in being proactive and in building our own personal brand. But the dynamic changes significantly when someone really wants us, vs. just accepts us.
The very best open doors I get are those that come without knocking. Job offers, speaking engagements, honors and invitations that come to us in their right appointed time are truly the best kind.
This was brought home during a visit to Texas a few years back. The lovely woman who invited me shared how she’d seen my face on another conference invite, threw it in the trash but then felt prompted to pull it back out and invite me. Her summation was encouraging, “You can be confident others are going before you to advocate.” A great reminder.
There have been instances where I’ve been invited then de-invited, and it’s tempting to want to shout, “Hey wait a minute, you don’t know what you’re missing!” But I’ve learned that if it’s meant to be it’ll come back around, and when it does the inviter will be honored you said yes, vs. skeptically wondering if you’re worth the investment.
These dynamics are sometimes subtle, and again there’s nothing wrong with letting others know who we are, what we want, and the benefits we bring. Still, if we can do our promotion then let go and let opportunities come as they may, our overarching brand of excellence goes up. Top brands know who they are and their customers come to them.
Same in relationships. Friends may reject us. Dates may never call a second time. But those you’re supposed to do life with won’t stay away. “Like kinds” find each other and are worth waiting for every time.