therules

Years ago I read the iconic book, The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right offering lots of tips for navigating the path to lasting love.  One memorable point had to do with “romantic gifts.”

Authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider say…

The Rule is that if you don’t get jewelry or some other romantic gift on your birthday or other significant occasion, you might as well call it quits because he’s not in love with you and chances are you won’t get the most important gift of all: an engagement ring.

I’ve been on the wrong side of this equation many times.  The guy gets you a gift, you like it but wonder if he might give something similar to his buddies.  Something inside leaves you wondering what the bigger message is.

Perhaps he’s not even in tune with the fact he’s treating you like a friend more than a love-interest.  The authors say, “Flowers, jewelry, poetry, and weekend trips to the country are the kinds of gifts given by men in love.” Sadly, we as women are often more in tune that the man is, especially if he’s reluctant.

Navigating through my own share of gifts that belonged to buddies, I agree with The Rules wholeheartedly. Within just a few months of dating my husband, he presented me with an exquisite watch of the highest quality and beauty.  I was frankly stunned.  We weren’t even that serious yet but he was serious about his intentions, telling me after I opened it,”I hope this says to you and your parents, I mean business!”

Thankfully he did and has reiterated his intentions numerous times since then. Most recently today when I arrived at our apartment in NYC to be greeted by a dozen pink peonies (my all-time favorite flower) from my favorite florist.  Even the guys at the desk were impressed!

Now granted, after marriage you do at times want more practical things, like new kitchen counters or tickets to a concert.  But flowers and jewelry never grow old and you CAN find a man who understands this love language.

So let’s all be patient and honest and recognize the signs.  Remember, a stop sign now doesn’t mean a dead-end forever when it comes to love.  You ARE a princess and your prince will stop at nothing to remind you of the prize you are!

A year ago today we arrived in Paris for my 50th b’day, one of many lavish gifts from my Mr. Right.

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The right man will give you many of these!

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And let’s never forget that girlfriends are GREAT gift-givers and can help tide us over til romance comes. This from last year’s 5-0 b’day bash given by the awesome Darcy Plimpton-Sims.

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