He was right and I knew it. It was something about my tone. I meant what I said, but I could’ve said it better, more tactfully, less short and succinct, or maybe not at all. And in front of the kids, that’s never good.
It started at a family dinner at Cheddars during wedding week. Granted, lots going on with not much sleep, but let’s not make excuses.
The salad arrived with the lovely warm croissant. “Oh good, an extra croissant; this one plus the three I just ordered will mean everyone can have one, or a bite of one,” she thought to herself like every bread-loving mother would.
But then, before I could lovingly reach for it, Ron takes his fork and smashes the croissant. I mean he goes after it, hitting it again and again til it’s flat as a pancake (creative way to avoid calories.)
Everyone laughed, except me. “Seriously, I was going to EAT that, why did you do that, ridiculous, you RUINED it,” I pointed out with fervor. Awkward. She surprised even herself getting so upset over a crushed croissant.
Just a few days before in the kitchen with our son and his wife, Ron asked a question about something, maybe wedding-related, and again it was my tone, a tad-bit short and disrespectful.
So in his typically-tactful way a few nights later, he pointed out these two intonations, lovingly as a request that I be more careful and watch this, especially in front of the kids.
I felt the sting. He was right, I was wrong. I had my reasons, but his reasoning was best and so I stood corrected and stand intended to improve in this. I need to and want to. And I love him for caring.
My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:5&6, 11
Glad to have a husband I respect, and one who respects me and our family enough to point out what’s not excellent.
It’s a strange thing about rebuke. Painful at the time, positive over time, and preferable to just going along untethered and unchallenged to become our best.