Have you ever felt like you were missing out or being left behind? I sure have. Sometimes professionally and often in my personal life, I’ll see others who seem to have it all why I wait for a few crumbs to be thrown my way.
One such “crummy” moment happened recently. I was visiting family and had an afternoon to watch my 9 yr old niece and her cheerleading squad perform at a pep rally. Later that evening I wrote an email to my husband describing how I felt….
“I was in the gym this afternoon with all the kids, tons of moms and dads, the football team, Ally and her cheerleader friends, so sweet and glad I got to go. Funny though, I thought while I looked at everyone, ‘I’ve missed this whole experience of being a mom with young kids in school.’ It’s still so strange to me, I look at all these women and think, ‘That was going to be me, being at school, pouring into my kids’ young lives.’ I know that I know, for some reason, I’m called to a different path, one I do love, but at moments like this it’s still hard to grasp why and how it turned out like this.”
Perhaps you can relate to my “missing out” sentiments. It struck me later that night and again this morning while on a run, how tempting it is for EVERYONE to feel at some level like we’re missing out.
Missing out on….
- A job breakthrough
- A relationship you’ve always dreamed of
- Real, true friends
- A promised promotion
- Financial relief
- Freedom from depression and addictions
- The list goes on….
I finished my email to Ron with a line that is truly my heart’s mantra and one I will always hold to: “I’m rich beyond words and have no regrets.”
Over and over we’re challenged to choose the “glass is half-full” mentality vs. concentrating on the empty place. Yes, there are mysteries, things seemingly withheld, fulfillment we rightfully deserve or would imagine a loving God is eager to grant us. So what gives when I feel denied?
One of my favorite scripture verses is Isaiah 55:9, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I have come to realize with increasing assurance my Father is all-wise, full of love, withholding some things only to grant others, in His way and in His time.
Could it be our challenge is to live not by what is visible now, and then choose, over and over again, to be content and grateful, celebrating what we have?
I’ve been focused on Psalm 23 lately while we walk through the valley with our son Jordan who is fighting cancer. I’m often reciting under my breath, “Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me…” I’ve also been loving verse 5 that says, “….you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.” What a gift — an overflowing cup. Not just half-full, but running over.
So even with unanswered questions, I’m going to declare that my cup WILL run over, realizing that perhaps part of the gift and adventure for all of us is, we just don’t know quite yet, what He will fill it with.